L.O.V.E. – Lifting Oneself and Others towards Victory and Excellence

In my previous blog, I quoted from Denis Waitley’s book, Seeds of Greatness: ” Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear. I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks – masks that I am afraid to take off; and none of them are me.” I, you, your family members, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, teammates, etc, are saying these statements. In a sense, all of us are living these statements. That is because all of us have at least three different selves; A public self ( where we act as if we are ” all together ” as above); A private self ( where we are like a duck on a pond with a “together” exterior, but underneath the surface, we are a mess of fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, and insecurities); and a third self that is loving, caring, compassionate, powerful, and entirely “all together”. This third self is the one that God created. However, because of us, our parents, family, friends, and the environment, we have created a prison around this self and we do not know how to exit this prison. This prison is akin to an onion where layers and layers of negativity and inauthenticity have enveloped us and trapped and prevented our self’s true expression in this life.

Dawna Markova said it quite eloquently, “Through fear of knowing who we really are we sidestep our own destiny, which leaves us hungry in a famine of our own making … we end up living numb, passionless lives disconnected from our soul’s true purpose. But when you have the courage to shape your life from the essence of who you are, ( your third self ), you ignite, becoming truly alive”.Do you want to live a loving, happy, peaceful, and passionate life? I know that I do,. That is why I am paying heed to the admonition of Romans 12:2. I want to be transformed by the renewal of my mind. I have learned that my mind is like a garden and whatever I plant there is what I will exhibit in my present life. If I plant an apple seed, I will produce delicious, red, apples. If I plant or allow weeds into my garden, my life will be filled with the weeds of hate, envy, fear, insecurity, etc.

This takes us to the most powerful tool that we have to use in order to live a fruitful, passionate, loving, productive, successful, life. That greatest power is THE POWER TO CHOOSE. I am sure that most of you have known or lived the concept of cause and effect. Whatever action you take in this life will produce a consequence. Therefore, it is imperative that you understand the POWER OF CHOICE. Just like the garden analogy intimates, whatever choice you make in your mind, in this life, will produce a consequence in your external life; a garden filled with bountiful, beautiful plants, or a garden filled with all types of thorny, prickly weeds. God, our Source, made us perfect, but we and our environment turned us into imperfect human beings with multiple layers of fear, insecurities, shame, etc. However, we were granted free will (Choice). We now have the free will to make choices that can lead us on the road back to “perfection”.( I know we will never get back to ‘perfection’ in this life, however, we can attempt to be perfect within our imperfections). This free will ( Choice ) is yours to use, and depending on how you use it that will determine the kind of life that you will live.

One of the most important choices that you have to make is whether to accept the fact that your Source made you perfectly. You may know this intellectually, by reading the Bible, the Torah, or the Koran, but, do you really believe it? Make the choice to accept this fact and you will be on your way to transforming your mind (Garden). Accept the fact that you are very, very special just by looking at the numbers itself – You are 1 of 7 Billion plus people on this planet, and no one else is exactly like you. If you can’t accept the numbers, then make a choice to accept the fact that God, your Source, has never and will never make any “junk”! As far as the process of transformation goes, remembering our power tool, CHOICE, one of the biggest decisions we have to make is to choose which of the three selves do we want to be. Do we want to keep wearing the heavy masks (self #1 and #2) with all the burdens that entail, or do we want to make the choice to be our authentic, God-created self? I, myself have chosen the latter. I have made the choice to discard the” Fake Masks”, transform my mind, and live a life of authenticity as God, my Source, wants me to. Transforming my mind and endeavoring to work hard to live an authentic life is no easy task. But, once one makes this decision there is no quitting or turning back. I have made the decision to BE (think and feel) and DO ( speak and act) with unconditional L.O.V.E. whenever and wherever I can. My job is to use the true, foundational, principles of loving and living that have existed forever and make the best choices that I have in every moment and in every interaction. In trying to live an authentic life, one has to plow the garden of one’s mind, fertilize it, and plant new seeds. Of course, the greatest foundational principle that we have at our disposal is to L.O.V.E. yourself and L.O.V.E. others like you do yourself. Another foundational principle is planting the seeds of a positive, winning attitude. I will discuss this topic in greater detail in a later blog.

The video below will show you a very brief example of how making a conscious choice, especially with a positive attitude, can determine the type of life that you can attain in this world. Evan Michael, our son who passed away in 2013, suffered a fracture of his fifth metatarsal bone in his left foot two days into Spring Training in 2013. He, and us, were devastated as he had done a lot of work during the offseason in preparation for a push to make the Pittsburgh Pirates Major League team. However, he came to grips with what he had to do, had surgery, and started an extensive rehabilitation program. At the beginning of rehab, he made the conscious choice to do everything that was asked of him and to do it with a positive attitude. The video shows a smiling Evan picking up marbles with his toes in order to strengthen the muscles in his foot. He made the choice because he knew the result that he wanted to create ie; getting healthy in order to begin competing again. He accepted his fate, made a conscious choice to do the work, and went about it with a positive attitude.

Another major foundational principle that one has in their garden toolbox is to become more vulnerable. This is something that I have only recently learned that will help me in my transformation process. I know some of you are screaming, ” What!!! If we become more vulnerable, we will hurt more “. But, wait, we are now protecting ourselves by wearing these fake masks with all the attendant fears and insecurities. Are you satisfied with the life you are living behind these masks? Becoming more vulnerable is living a more authentic life. Our increased vulnerability will be a huge asset in our loving and lifting ourselves. Heretofore, I have considered vulnerability a weakness, however, after listening to Brene Brown’s YouTube TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability”(highly recommend), I came away with the knowledge that vulnerability is one of our biggest strengths. Living with increased vulnerability indicates to me that I am living with the ultimate trust and faith in my God. I don’t have to wear these fake masks anymore. I can be real, honest, loving, and compassionate. Will being more vulnerable be easy? Absolutely not!  I will experience anxiety as I make this choice and live it until this becomes the new normal.  But, I am willing to accept the anxiety for now for the great benefit of unmasking myself and living a life of authenticity filled with L.O.V.E., JOY, PEACE, AND HAPPINESS. If you reject being more vulnerable or do not make a conscious choice to be that way, then you are accepting and are willing to forever wear the masks that are producing the life that you are now living. If you accept being more vulnerable, then you are accepting a potentially more fulfilling, joyful, successful, productive life without the fake masks.

To conclude, It is always about the choices we make. Always Cause and Effect! We Lift Ourselves ( L.O.V.E. Ourselves ) when we make the choice to accept ourselves as we were created without the masks, when we use the power tool of choice to live our lives, and when we transform our mind (Garden) into a positive, loving, functioning machine.

Call to Action: Think about and make the conscious CHOICE to transform your mind each day for the next three weeks.

“Learning to L.O.V.E. YOURSELF is the greatest L.O.V.E. of all. Find your strength in L.O.V.E.”—– Whitney Houston